NEWS FLASH!

last nite before we left for dinner - she moved her car!!!  we saw her do it!  so jeff moved his truck into that spot so that she couldn't park there when she returned....

she still didn't park in front of her house.  she parked in front of our neighbor's house/car - which honestly is a good 4 houses away from her own house.  i don't know what aversion issues she has with parking in front of her own house.  but it's getting downright silly....

we'll see where her car is when we get home today.  if it's back in front of my house - i'm walking across the street...

dear lazyass neighbor...

as of 8:00 am this morning - you were still parked in front of my house.

i'm not playing.

and the guy next door is willing to back me up on this.

*giggle*  and yes - i did have jeff's mom park in front of your house last night while we were at the fox on purpose.

dear lazzyass neighbor,

as you know, we live on a very small, culdesac street.  space is limited.  parking is very limited.  especially when you consider that most home owners have 2 cars that have to be parked some place when we are actually occupying our homes and property.

i'm not sure what personal crisis is going on in your family - but i'm sure there must be some since i've noticed that 2 of your children, their spouses, and their 3 small children have all moved into your house.  i've also noticed that this increase in home dwellers has increased the number of cars at your house from 2 to 4.  i understand that the cars must all be parked someplace.  and i've appreciated the times that you're children have parked their cars on the side street.

however, your car has been parked in front of my home for a week now.  it makes it extremely difficult to unload groceries and furniture into my home when i have to park three houses away.  in front of someone else's house.  which is not convenient for them.

 we have two cars and only room to park one in our garage at the moment.  we would really like to be able to park in front of our own house.  i don't think it's too much to ask.  you park in front of your house.  so do your kids.  i'm sure you appreciate the convenience of it - as would we - if we could do it....

you have until friday to move your car.  then i'm gonna get really crabby...

honey - we're killing the kids...

tlc has this new show called "honey - we're killing the kids." the show's concept is to take two parents of a set of over weight, lazy, spoiled children, and show them an animated age progression of what the children will look like as they grow from the current age up to the age of 40. the family then spends the next 3 weeks working out of a binder of rules to change their lifestyles for the better. at the end of the show, the parents are shown NEW age progressions that show how much better the children will be as adults if they continue down the path that they've started in the past 3 weeks.

each week the family is given 3 "rules" to follow - which are really more like goals. they are about the same for each family. i think it's so they don't have to print up new little magnet things for the rules.

i've watched a few episodes of this show and made a few observations that i want to share.

1. how do they really know that having a life of pizza eating and coke drinking will lead the child to pierce her nose and dye her hair green at the age of 18? and how do they know that eating tofu burgers will lead them toward a life without holes in body parts and normal hair styles? And a goatee verses no goatee??

2. isn't it a little hypocritical for a TV SHOW to tell a family that they each have to limit their tv watching to 1 hour a day? each family gets this rule and then there's a big spectacle about taking the kids tvs out of their rooms where they cry and fight and act like their 2. how is the show supposed to get ratings and succeed if people only watch tv for 1 hour a day? adults everywhere might use that 1 hour to get the weather forecast and news updates and then the show would fail! it doesn't seem like it's a very productive method of making your show succeed.

3. each family has a "get moving" type of rule where they send the kids out to some sort of activity/class for a week to make them want to exercise. they sent a 200 pound 12 year old boy and his overweight 8 year old brother to boxing lessons. the bigger boy hated it - with the exception of the fact that he liked to repeatedly hit stuff. like the bag. so - let's look at this in a logical way for a second. you sent a 200 pound 12 year old adolescent boy to boxing where he could learn to enjoy pounding things and the proper techniques to beat up people - such as his little brother and other peers who made fun of him. you gave him the ammunition he needed to become a bully. yeah - THAT'S smart...

4. they always send the parents out on a special date to a nice place for dinner. and i always wonder - where are the kids?? cause they usually aren't old enough to be watching themselves. and how come the places they eat are healthy but if i go out to eat it's impossible to find a meal that has less than 1000 calories?

5. it's a jump to expect ANY person to switch from meat to tofu after less than a week. and meat can be good for you in proper quantities you know. and just introducing a child to a pig farm isn't really going to deter them from eating bacon. i mean if they really like bacon - they're going to wanna eat bacon. meeting wilbur in person isn't going to stop that...

6. there's always that one child that refuses to eat the new food until 2 weeks into the program. how exactly is the child surviving in the meantime if they are sitting there refusing to eat the food at all meals?

7. why is it that plain, flavorless, bland oatmeal is the only healthy breakfast that they know? mix a little jelly in there - it tastes better.

8. vegetarian does not equal a healthier lifestyle. one can be healthy without tofu and bland foods...

someone pass the pork steaks please!

brittney

pregnant or not - is it just me or did brittney spears look a little anna nicole-ish on dateline last night??

she didn't look good. and the clumb of mascara on the eyelashes of her right eye were really bugging me....

hershey warning

i found a note on the inside of my hershey bar wrapper today that said "candy is a treat.  please consume in moderation."  it was just below the fine print instructions on how to enter my code to earn 2 ebay points.  odd place to put it.  

i have a strong temptation to go by OTHER hershey bars to examine them for the same warning...

i'm adding it to the list right after "don't use curling iron while sleeping".

lifesavers

i hate the orange lifesaver.

there's always a better flavor on the other side of it...

cough hack hack cough

the doctor said i have an "upper respiroatory tract infection." i've been coughing virtually non stop for over a week. i had nail spiked golf balls hanging out in my throat. and it recently went to my ears and tried to infect there.

i don't like being sick.

i have had a few hits off an old prescription of cough syrup with codine though. it still works. codine gives me super powers. it also makes me itch constantly at invisiable itchy spots all over my body. but it stops the coughing.

some day that bottle's gonna be empty and i'm gonna be in a heap of trouble since no over the counter medicine works on me...

ugh

*cough cough hack cough hack hack cough cough cough*