25 random things about me

this is going around on facebook - so i thought i would post it here too...

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. my most favorite smell in the world is garlic. not cookies or cinnamon - garlic. i'm sure it betrays my german/irish heritage.

2. i have a secret passion for old movies with halley mills. not just the parent trap - but i'm quite fond of the trouble with angels.

3. i have four serious vices. kit kats. lays classic potato chips. margaritas. double stuffed oreos. not in that order - and certainly not at the same time.

4. i'm not ashamed to admit that i went to the new kids on the block reunion concert. and i would pay to see them again. i had the best time.

5. i have the best husband. sometimes i think i don't deserve him. we have the most fun together and when i'm so stressed out that i'm about to lose my mind - he knows just how to handle it.

6. i'm still holding on to about 5 or 6 grudges from the last 15 or 16 years. i can't let them go and feel they keep me strong. only one of those grudges is against someone i was in a relationship with. each of those grudges involved a poisionous relationship/friendship where i knew i was the better person, but for some reason was still desparate for the other person's approval and genuine friendship (even when i knew it didn't exist).

7. i love typing in lowercase letters and i know it drives my other english major friends nuts. i'd like to think i'm just really cool like e.e. cummings - but truth is i'm just too lazy to hit the shift key.

8. when i was pregnant the doctors tried to get me to go on an insulin pump to manage my diabetes and i refused. i wouldn't admit it at the time - but the true reason i refused was because i knew in my heart that nina's father was a cheater, we wouldn't be together forever, and i was afraid i would never find a man who could accept a single mother who was attached to what might be considered a mini iv 24/7. after i found jeff - it was easy to let go of that insecurity.

9. i sometimes worry that someone will see me programing my insulin pump in public and think i'm a terrorist.

10. i have a recurring nightmare about being back in high school and having a crazy rotating schedule with a class that always drops out of rotation. i never can remember which class i'm supposed to be in and the science class always seems to be the class that rotates out until the day of a big test where i don't know the answers because the class hasn't taken place for months.

11. i love analyzing the poetry behind song lyrics. i wish i had done my senior thesis on that.

12. i always get moody and depressed during the month of february. i used to say i was cursed during that month because it seemed i broke up with all my boyfriends in february or bad things happened. but i think i just remember every february that my great great aunt may died at valentine's day and it makes me sad placing negative energy in my universe.

13. in july 2008, i sat in a room with 1500 miracles.

14. i think i'm the only person in the world who hates kelly clarkson's new song.

15. everytime i see a really cute baby - i ask jeff if we can have another kitten. his answer is always no. this especially happens when i've been with my friend christy's baby.

16. my best friend amanda and i share the same brain. really. we live 600 miles apart and will see each other for the first time after months (or even years) and find that we are both carrying the same purse, wearing the same shoes, or the same swimming suit. all of which were probably purchased at target. we don't tell each other about buying these things. it just happens. we can also finish each others thoughts and talk to each other without speaking. we're freaks of nature.

17. i have a hopeless addiction to mcdonalds breakfast.

18. i'm a pleathora of useless information which makes me quite handy to have on a trivia team...

19. i'm waiting for the day the team from a&e's intervention show up at my house to pry my laptop from my hands and deactivate my webkin's account.

20. i think the litterbox and garbage disposal are conspiring against me - and it's just not cool.

21. i often have anxiety attacks before i fall asleep. i also tend to chronicly hyperventilate.

22. i know that all four of my grandparents and my aunt may visit me from time to time.

23. the saddest thing i've ever seen is my husband's heart break when his father died. the thought of it alone kills me inside.

24. i love non profit work. everyone always said i "mothered" everyone when i was little, had to take care of everyone and everything even when it wasn't my business. and they said i would make a good social worker. and now - i'm basically doing social work without having to get the degree. it kinda makes sense when you think about it. nina's exactly the same way too.

25. have you ever seen that commercial with the guy who refused to get out of his car until the song "american pie" is completely over? yeah. i'm that guy. i've been known to drive around the block a couple of times until it's over.

episode two of "how not to make it to the hollywood round on american idol..."

1. suck so bad that the viewers switch to watch beyonce sing while the new president dances with his first lady...

2. and then beg causing me to change the channel back to the ball again....

3. wear blue/silver eye shadow from eye lashes to eyebrows...

4. ask america to vote for you with chinese characters. most can't read that...

5. sing like cher...

let's play - one of these things is not like the other!

okay - forgive the fact that the video i found was someone who taped their tv set. but let's play "one of these things is not like the other - one of these things just isn't the same"

can you spot that thing in this performance of "signed sealed delivered" from tonight's ball? can you tell which thing is just a little out of place and doesn't belong??

for the record - i was totally boogying in my kitchen during the performance - i just thought someone didn't quite look like she hung out on a regular basis with the others on the stage - that's all...

getting older...

there comes a time in every kid's life when they come home from school with a note from the teacher, p.e. teacher, health teacher, or school nurse - that asks for permission for that child to participate in the upcoming special lesson/unit on "getting older" (if you know what i mean!)...

nina came home from school with that note on friday.

i swear i've never felt so old in my life.

grudges...

so last night nina and i went to see a production of to kill a mockingbird with my pal lindsey. lindsey really is a most awesomest type of friend. you know - the kind that comes over to your house just to carry cases of girl scout cookies for two hours. the kind that smiles even when she's really mad. i don't think i've ever seen her vent about anything without laughing about something at the same time.

she even knows shes awesome. she's dubbed herself the master of the universe after all.

anyway - so we went to see this play and low and behold one of the actors was someone i knew, and lothe so much i refused to applaud for her at the end. nina and lindsey gave me a little grief over this. lindsey said i hold grudges.

and you know what? she's totally right (awesome people like lindsey usually are right). i do hold grudges. i think forgiveness is overrated in some cases. i mean - i can think of about half a dozen people who i've encountered in the past 31 and 1/2 years that i'm still holding a grudge against (i bet some of you can think of who they are too). and when i think about if it's worth letting the grudge go - i decided that the grudges are all worth it.

just the other day i came across someone on facebook who made my life hell when i was 12 and got a sick and twisted feeling of joy to see she never got married. (i also got a sick and twisted feeling of jealousy that she has the most popular boy from our class on her friends list - but then again - i beat her to him in the ladies' choice dance at the graduation dance and he couldn't say no - the dj said. that's right - i have issues people. i'm not ashamed. but that's a whole other blog entry).

so anyway. why won't i let these 6 or 7 grudges go? because i think they make me stronger. i think it's possible that if a person lets go of certain grudges and forgives and stuff - then they run the serious possibility of falling victim to the exact same types of negative energy (if not the same exact vessels of negative energy)all over again. and i think i have serious fears of just how possible that is. literally. i have nightmares that take me back about 11 years relationship wise.

so i just can't let go of these grudges. i need them. they're like security blankets. they keep me strong. and since they are mostly pretty immature - they also keep me young. (perhaps grudges are the answer to the fountain of youth. i'll have to check into it.) it's not like i sit and stew over them every day. i've mostly moved on from it. i just don't applaud or fake excitement or want to see pictures of their kids or have a cup of coffee (or be facebook friends) when i run into one of them.

so as much as i love lindsey (you know i do - oh master of the universe!) - and as positive of an influence she is on me all the time - i've thought about what she said about me holding grudges - and i think i'm gonna keep holding. it's too easy to go from being a door stop to a door mat.

besides - i like being immature sometimes....

sandy again...

well - at least this time she's not on my wrists...

episode one - how not to make it to the hollywood round on american idol...

1. forget the name of the new judge and call her by another name in your interview...

2. cry for no reason...

3. resemble the crazy redhead from "wedding crashers". "let me through - or i'll find you!"

4. SING THE WRONG WORDS!

5. appear insanely desperate...

6. resemble a rock of love contestant. (this is my public way of saying that bikini girl reminded me of megan from rock of love and i don't think she should have advanced - no matter how bouncy she was)...

7. play air guitar.

see???

you all thought i was kidding! again with sandy and her trying to fit into the space on my lap that doesn't have laptop on it...

silly cat...

the real reason my blog has being going without updates for so long...

do you have any idea how hard this makes it to type??

every time i pull out the laptop - bailey is rubbing her head against the screen and sandy's trying to prove she can fit in the tiny space between my stomach and the keyboard.

i'm waiting for her to figure out the little touch pad and it's connection to the arrow on the screen she's always following...

*sigh* young love...

something about this story is so sweet and innocent that i think if i were a parent to either lovebird - i would find it really hard to be angry....

at least i know nina won't be running off with her boyfriend any time soon. she worries about running out to the car to get something if we're not within eye shot of the window....