this week on "why you won't be my next american idol"...

welcome back everyone. after a long hiatus - i am karen seacrest - here once again with your weekly episode of "why you won't be my next american idol"...

this week, we say good by to amy krebs. amy, you won't be my next american idol because if it hadn't been for simon saying that no one would remember you - i probably wouldn't have made the effort to remember you...

we also say goodbye to paul kim. paul - you won't be my next american idol because feet are icky unless properly pedicured. and thanks to a recent episode of tyra - i'm now terrified of getting pedicures at those cute little salons because you can get a bacterial flesh eating virus!

also leaving us is nicole tranquillo. nicole - you won't be my next american idol because i just didn't like your performance and can't think of anything creative to say about it. sorry. but i can't...

and finally the journey ends last night for rudy cardenaz. rudy - you won't be my next american idol because you look like scott baio and i am SO over marrying chachi. i mean - he was SO 1982, you know? i've moved on. i have. i mean - so what if i was only 5 in 1982 and it would have been gross and illegal. but is it anymore gross than scott dating nicole eggert? he's nine years older than her. and that may have been legal at the time they dated - but he played her babysitter! he was abusing his acting athority!!! what would joanie say?? so sorry rudy - but you have to go...

so anyway - there you have it. another exciting episode. stay tuned for next week when we will hopefully get to say goodbye to people who REALLY don't deserve to be there...

until then - this is once again - karen seacrest - out!

mini's mini's everywhere...

okay. more proof that it wasn't cotton weary.

but hello! did anyone else notice that giant snake mayor killed his sister!!?!?!?!! well gosh!

i still say that this doll image is the one clue they need to figure out in order to solve this whole thing. if they can figure out who owns the doll and it's importance - the mini mouse killer will be solved...

can you say "ignorant"?

this is the absolute most ignorant thing i have EVER heard and totally disrespectful to those of us in the world who would love to have children (or more children) and can't for reasons that are out of our control and part of god's plan for our lives.

i don't think i can even begin to list the many, many ways in which the fact that someone thinks this is right and that other people agree with him - makes me sick...

everyone sing!

if you're happy and you know it clap your hands - CHRIS IS GONE!
if you're happy and you know it clap your hands - CHRIS IS GONE!

if you're happy and you know it - you're inner gilmore girl will show it...

if you're happy and you know it clap your hands - CHRIS IS GONE!!!

what a nice valentines day gift. i'm choosing to believe that jeff contacted the writers and told them how unhappy the whole chris/lorelai thing was making me and made them fix it. he's so sweet to me!

i was wrong...

michael keppler wasn't really cotton weary or the mini murderer. but he was still a messed up criminalist who had killed an innocent man!

who wants to place bets on if there's an engagement ring in the cocoon?

yes, that is me doing that lame happy dance...

can you say - bye bye mr. icky christopher! how cold hearted you are not to get your butt right to that hospital! there is not a thing you do that shows me that you are worthy - you deadbeat!

exes are exes for a reason ms. gillmore (thank goodness you didn't change your name to hayden!). except for luke. he's an ex because you were both immature idiots. now it seems you are both growing up and happily ever after can once again resume...

superbowl commercials

i think i liked the crab commercial and the blockbuster commercial the best...

that mouse's voice had to have been played by bobcat goldthwait...

oh - and in case you missed it - i got to be on the news last nite!!!

happy anniversary!

2 days ago was the one year anniversary of the "inside a goofy girl's brain" blog.

time flies when you're writing senseless dribble...

who is keppler?

who is michael keppler?

i have two theories...

he's the mini murderer...

or he's really COTTON WEARY and cotton weary is the mini murderer! did cotton die in scream 3? i can't remember....

more rules for making it to hollywood on american idol...

rule #11 - any allusion to any type of animal behavior should be kept out of your audition.

rule #12 - under MOST circumstances - you should listen to your mother. if she tells you that you aren't right for american idol - she may be right. she only has your best interest in mind and she doesn't want to see you humiliated and hurt.

rule #13 - don't make out with the other contestants.

rule #14 - paula and randy's ultimate voice coach set is currently being tested on fox 2's deal or dud. somehow - i have a feeling it won't be as successful as the vidalia chop wizard...

rule #15 - if you sang with someone famous - make sure they know it. it obviously helps...