THIS WEEK! on "why you won't be my next american idol"...

YEAH!!! karen seacrest has it together this week!!! it's amazing what a thursday night margarita can do...

this week on "why you won't be my next arerican idol" i get to do a dance of glee because i finally get to use the line that i wrote for chikieze the day he hit top 24! chikieze - you won't be my next american idol because every fool knows that if you are going to give yourself a stage name - you don't pick something that can SO VERY EASILY be confused with the word "cheezy!" and with that - i now dub you "chester chikieze - cause your the chikiezeiest!"

until next week when i just may get this out completely on time. karen seacrest saying - always on the rocks. always with salt. out.

i am the mighty beach house tiki god...

i love my new job. i really do. it makes me happy. it's really fullfilling. but man - for some reason - ever since i started - having at least one drink on the weekend has been a requirement. and i start craving that drink on tuesdays...

ps. penn was robbed on dancing with the stars tonite. there's no way he should have gone home before guttenberg or corolla...

last week on "why you won't be my next american idol"...

so i am totally aware that i am in severe danger of losing my karen seacrest job. but at least i know i have that radio show and my spots on e! news to fall back on...

last week on "why you won't be my next american idol" we all danced a happy dance of glee at the departure of dear amanda overmeyer. amanda - you won't be my next american idol because i'm tired of looking at your armpits and your hair is so over processed that it looks like a wig. oh. and you stink. and what's even BETTER? you don't get to go on the tour either. na na na na na na.

i'm so mature.

so until - whenever i get around to updating again.

this is karen seacrest - in danger of cancellation - reminding you that bunnies who bring chocolate are your friends. out.

this week on "why you won't be my next american idol"...

okay okay okay. i'm a horrible karen seacrest. and since i don't want to, once again, blame a hectic life style for being late - even if it is true - i'll just say that it took me seven days to recover from whatever the heck it was that kristy sang last week. as a die hard beatles fan - i think i experienced some painful palpitations...

and i heard a rumor that they are singing from the lennon/mccartney songbook again this week. i really hope it was just a rumor...

anyway - so david hernandez hit the bricks this week after a horrible, boy bandish rendition of "saw her standing there." david - you won't be my next american idol because when you say "i'll never dance with another" - i know that it has more to do with sharing the multitude of one dollar bills coming your way than it does with the girl standing in the corner. if you know what i mean (and i think you do - if you don't - google the scandal)....

so that's it. you waited all week for that. i'm sorry. i hope to do better this week (as i have to work NO mandatory extra hours and have NO MEETINGS this week!)...

until next week. karen seacrest. out....

this week on "why you won't be my next american idol"...

this is karen seacrest coming to you - a little late due to hectic girl scout duties. you know - there's probably a seacrest joke there that simon would make - but i won't go there.

so since i'm about three days late with this - let's get onto it.

taking a ride on the "bye-bye" train this week was luke menard. luke - you won't be my next american idol because last week you slaughtered my favorite queen song. and you do these strange little poses when you sing that just scream "i'm an a'capella performer." i can't quite explain it. but it annoys me. and it doesn't go with the songs you sing. and you kinda remind me of luke perry - and he's so 1994...

also taking the limo ride home (but hopefully wearing underwear) is kady malloy. kady - you won't be my next american idol because hello? been there. done that. and look at the outcome. britney's a nutcase who's daddy is controling her finances, who's ex is supervising the kids, and who's baby sister has decided it was cool to be a poor example for young girls everywhere. do we really need to go through that AGAIN? perhaps you could give that "legands in concert" show a try. they have performances in both branson AND las vegas...

leaving us also is asia'h epperson. now karen seacrest doesn't agree with this coice either. especially since it means once again that amanda didn't go home. but asia'h - you won't be my next american idol because america seems to think that amanda deserves it more than you. isn't that sad??

and on an expecially sad note - we are saying good-bye to mr. sassy pants himself - danny noriega. i've taken a bit of grief in recent weeks because i liked sassy pants. sure - he was a diva. and a drama queen. and an attention whore. but he just reminds me of justin on ugly betty so much! and i love justin on ugly betty! but anyway - sassy pants - you won't be my next american idol because i find it freakish for a boy to have such a tiny hiney. it's weird.

so there you have it. the "oh so close but not quite close enough" final four rejects of the first half of live episodes.

on to the top twelve!

this is karen seacrest saying - it's time for a thin mint binge. out.

the poor good samaritan

i feel so bad for the family of this guy.

there was $5 in the tip jar. it probably didn't even cover the coffee that she bought as a diversion...

are you feeling - saucy???

One Semester of Spanish - Love Song
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