this week on "why you won't be my next american idol"...

welcome to a very special episode of "why you won't be my next american idol". i'm your host - karen seacrest.

let us all take a brief moment to mourn the loss of hair-boy.

now that we've done that - can i get a "woot woot!" please?!?! come on - ya'll know you wanna. take that howard stern!

that's right. this week is the long awaited "sanjaya gets told to hit the bricks" week. don't we all feel better now? i have to say - it's all my doing. i took matters into my own hands this week and actually voted FIVE TIMES. clearly it made a difference since i haven't voted at all during the weeks that he hasn't been booted. no need to thank me. just throw treats.

anyway. we say "don't let the door hit ya" to the follically blessed sanjaya malakar. sanjaya - you won't be my next american idol because one michael jackson in the world is more than enough. you started off singing with your sibling. then you branched off to go it alone. you really were a heartbeat away from hanging out in vegas and dressing your children with bed linens. it's really for your own good. enjoy being a teenager for awhile.

well - karen seacrest has a busy nite ahead of her - big party at the ritz. but as soon as it's over - i'll start doing the research to figure out what exactly a "life anthem" is so i can prepare myself for next week's commentary.

until then. karen seacrest. out.