the return of "why you won't be my next american idol"!!!

So, bringing everyone up to speed – the following people won’t be my next American Idol for the following reasons.

Michael – you were robbed. I have to say it once every season. And even though I never thought you would win – or even make the final 2 – or maybe I did – I haven’t reviewed my bracket choices in awhile – you were still robbed. But since it’s my job to insert something witty at this point – you won’t be my next American Idol because it’s AMERICAN idol and not AUSSIE idol. Maybe you can get a second chance over there.

Kristy – you won’t be my next American idol because you appear to be perfect. Perhaps a little toooo perfect. I’m certain you have a flaw (other than being less than entertaining on stage). And one of these days, TMZ is going to find it.

Carley – you too were robbed. Again – I never thought you would win – but thought you would go farther. And since I’ve already used the “American not Irish” reasoning on Michael – you won’t be my next American Idol because that tattoo on your arm kinda looks like Amy Whinehouse. And they tried to make her go to rehab but she said no no no….

Brooke – you won’t be my next American Idol because I like just a little more edge to my idols. And you’re kinda folkish. And I’m not buying that you can’t play piano with your shoes on…

And finally, we have Jason Castro. Jason, you won’t be my next American Idol because after all these weeks I’m still not 100% certain that your awkwardness in just shy nervousness. Although I really hope it is. I just can’t help but wonder if there’s some “all natural herbal supplements” – if you know what I mean – contributing to that silly little grin and bad interviewing skills.

But my condolences to Lindsey on the loss of her Idol…

Coming to you live (and yet slightly prerecorded) on my new dell laptop, this is Karen Seacrest, promising to try and be a better Seacrest and saying “OUT” – just hopefully not for five weeks….