this week on "why you won't be my next american idol"...

welcome to "why you won't be my next american idol - the harajuku version"....

how about that gwen stefani! she so totally rocks!!! i so wanna be her. i'd settle to be half as skinny and toned as her.

that's right - i'm a diehard gwen fan. my secret is out. you can imagine how much i drove jeff crazy this week.

anyway - as we do every week - we have to say so long to someone. maybe not the someone who REALLY deserves it. and don't get me started on how he brutally destroyed a song written by gwen either - because i won't stop. and that hair! he looked like one of those roman soldiers with the brush thing on the helmet!

sorry - i got off track again. where was i - oh yeah - saying good-bye to someone. this week we say good-bye to fuzzy headed chris sligh. chris - you won't be my next american idol because you have that type of hair that probably just doesn't adjust well to different climates making touring difficult on your hair's health. and you dance kinda funny. and here lately you've been just a little TOO confident - if you know what i mean. people don't like that. they like "humble" - which is why melinda's such a hit...

look at the bright side - maybe your band will take you back now that you're famous and they can hitch a ride on your american idol fame wagon...

until next week when sanjaya wears coolio inspired braids - this is karen "ain't no hollaback girl" seacrest - out.