welcome to "why you won't be my next american idol." i'm your host - a very, very, VERY unhappy karen seacrest. how unhappy am i you ask? well - i'm 75% unhappy - that's how unhappy. because i am in 75% total disagreement with last night's departures.
who are these people and what the fruit loop is going through their minds when they are voting?? and if i personally catch any of you voting for that "amanda bride of frankenstein" - i am going to come to your office and beat you with a stick!
anyway - on with the show.
leaving us this week is branson's (even though his bio says texas) own jason yeager. jason, you won't be my next american idol because your blonde streak makes you resemble a unicorn. perhaps there's hope for you down the road and andy williams' moon river theater.
now i rant.
hitting the road next is alexandrea lushington. and even though she doesn't deserve it, alexandrea - you won't be my next american idol because your name is really alex-and-ri-a - not alex-and-ray-a. that just sounds funny. and short heeled boots and baggy shorts with bird legs doesn't look good. sorry toots. back home to granny you go. (watch out america - granny's comin after you with her cane!)
walking off stage with tears in her eyes is alaina whitaker. alaina - you won't be my next american idol because america clearly can't keep the blondes straight. they all thought they were voting for you but they were really voting for "brittney" malloy. i only wish you had stood your ground about singing after you got booted. i wouldn't have blamed you if you didn't sing...
finally, exiting stage right, is robbie carrico. robbie - you won't be my next american idol because your name isn't david, david, david, or michael. face the fact - it's the season of the david's. someone start making a statue. and michael - well - you can't have "the david" without michaelangelo. you do the math.
so that's that. because of these three exits - there are three people heading to the top twelve that won't deserve to be there. karen seacrest is mad at you america. i'm putting you on notice (mental note - see if i can work that out with stephen colbert). i hope you can live with that hanging over your heads.
until next week this is karen seacrest saying - watch your back. out.
Easter
11 years ago
2 comments:
I just posted to Justin's blog, so I figured I must be fair and take care of you, too. :) Like you, I thought all who were ousted (except Yaeger) were going to make Top 12. Surprising season so far. I also thought Luke Menard would have been gone after week 1 -- maybe his looks will take him to Top 12? I wouldn't mind. :)
Kristine
Who will be our next Stripper Idol?!
I think I know.
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