this week on why you won't be my next american idol"...

this week on "why you won't be my next american idol" we celebrate ace young. ace - you won't be my next american idol - because of your smoldering gazes? no. because you appeal to 16 year old girls all over the country? no. because you can't sing anything up beat or with a fast tempo or that you can dance to? no. because you exposed your chest scar in a creepy way? no. because you sat there and asked the guys of queen if you could butcher their song with a different arrangement and they said no and you did it anyway? no. because you look super lame with a pony tail? no. because you led me to say "adam sandler performed that better in the wedding singer??" no.

why? because when i was 15 i dated a guy whose dad was a big kiss fan and named is son "daniel ace" - which he went by "ace" - so i just can't say "ace" without thinking of 6 months during my sophmore year that included him flirting with other girls at the valentine's dance and us fighting at parties and the pressure for s-e-x and then they put a picture of he and i in the yearbook even though i asked the advisor not to do it and i bought him tickets for my first play and he didn't even show up to see it and i could tell from the stage that he wasn't there and i slapped the wall cause i was mad and it really kinda hurt. and then when we broke up he still showed up everywhere i was cause he worked at my schnucks and we still had mutual friends and he dated another girl from my school for a bit and the last time i saw him at a party he refused to talk to me but a year later wanted me to drop everything to see him before he moved out of state cause i meant so much to him...

being 15 was awful.

so why would i want an idol who brings all that back with a one syllable word??

get your candles set and snuggle on the couch with your loved one cause it's the greatest love songs next week. ace will be fuming cause he could have REALLY used his gaze then...

until next week - karen - out.